I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
