were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
