he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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