I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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