I wish I could punch you in the face.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize