My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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