i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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