I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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