his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
