i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
