someone get that fucking seahorse.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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