So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize