I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
