how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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