you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
