I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I deserve this hangover.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
