the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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