Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
