I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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