Please, let me fuck your mom
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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