i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
