i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
