Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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