i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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