I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
