she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize