so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
