but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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