i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
