Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
