look no pants
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
