It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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