He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize