This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
