Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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