so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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