Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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