your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
