Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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