I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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