my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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