god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
