Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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