A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
