I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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