You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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