dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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