My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
