a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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