i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
