omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
