Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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