A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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