It's like God shit irony all over that family
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
