Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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