What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
