A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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