Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
