Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
