Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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