I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
