True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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