i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
