she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
